Just choose one and keep it moving.
I am obsessed with the idea of commitment and I think it is a key ingredient for any successful relationship. Of course, people have different interpretations of commitment depending on what stage they are in life, a teenager’s expectation of commitment will be different from someone in his/her late 20s. That is why relationships, when you are a teenager, can be hard work, you cannot and should not expect an 18 year to commit to being with you “forever”. It is not really realistic either because at that stage they are still trying to figure out who they are and what life is about, so expecting Lil Tosin to stay with you forever at 18 when Lil Tosin still has to hide her/his partner from mum and dad is a bit unfair, don’t you think? (It must be said that there are some exceptions, some people meet their soulmate at 16 and they spend forever together).
At a certain point when you are older though, I think that should change. The point where things should change is relative, the whole world seems to have accepted the idea that roughly between 21-24 people should date to “find themselves” and different people find themselves at different times. Once you know who you are and what you want in a partner, I sincerely believe the rest should be easy. If you are matured enough to know the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you are lucky enough to meet the person and even luckier that the person feels exactly the same way, then that should be it, game over. Because life is long and hard and it is filled with, pardon my French, endless stream of fuckery. Life is like going into a battle, if you are in a battle, the last thing you want to be worrying about is if your partner will leave you alone on the battlefield, helpless and defenceless. That is the same with relationships and life, imagine losing your job and you are worried about your bae leaving you for greener pastures on top of that, what kind of life is that?
Another thing that commitment does is that it allows both parties to be themselves and grow together secured in the knowledge that they will be there for each other. If you are in a relationship with someone you know is 110% committed to you, you are more likely to be yourself and not walk on eggshells around the person out of fear of abandonment. You guys can argue about difficult topics, support different political parties (lol, I know there are the same) and not worry about crossing a line. And because you guys have accepted you are stuck together forever, you will automatically have each other’s best interest in mind, if she/he wins, you both win, you won’t have to be insecure that she/he is outgrowing you and would dump your ass (although that doesn’t stop you from stepping up your own game)
If you are committing to someone, you that you are making that commitment will and should have peace of mind. Think of it this way, if I buy a car, I know that I am going to use the car for the next 3-4 years so when I am driving, I am not going to be looking at other cars thinking I want to trade, there would be no point. Extrapolating this to a life partner is a bit trickier, I know, but the principle is still the same. What makes it even more challenging is that you are 120% guaranteed to meet someone better than your partner at some point and here is the kicker; if you trade your partner for an upgrade, partner 2.0 if you will, chances are when you meet partner 3.0 you will trade up again…and again…and again. So maybe it’s just best to pick one and keep it moving.
Author: Azeez Alabede (Azeezwrites), you can find me on Instagram (@azeezwrites) and Twitter (@azeezwrites) or subscribe for weekly posts @ azeezwrites.com