Hey guys!! I know you have been itching to read my article and I know it’s been a while (even if you haven’t, just pretend like you have biko). Well, I have been busy house-hunting in the city of Lagos. Honestly, guys, I can boldly say there’s not a place I haven’t been to in Lagos since I began (anyway story for another day). Today, I’ll be narrating to you my ordeal some days ago with one of the most popular ride-hailing company in Lagos (I have decided not to mention names). There’s no lie that with the domination of Lagos ride-hailing services such as Uber, Taxify (bolt), Ocar, Gidicab, and what have you. With them, people have been able to get through the heavy Lagos traffic and congestion with comfort and ease for a reasonable price depending on the trip even as the significant reduction in the use of public transport has now become increasingly high.
So to be totally honest with you, my experience on this particular day was actually traumatizing (I know some people will call me a drama queen ). On this fateful day, I was on my way to the island, and to be frank with you, I don’t like going anywhere on the island. Even if I go, I try my best to avoid going with public transportation such as “danfo”, even BRT dey fear me sef because of the things I have seen and experienced which ranges from the driver falling asleep to the boot of the bus jacking open while on the motion on 3rd mainland bridge so I’m sure you get my point. As usual, I ordered the ride and as soon as I saw that the driver had arrived I went downstairs to meet him.
Once I had confirmed the plate number and the driver’s face, I became alarmed. The hairstyle he had on was outlandish but I had to compose myself so as not to make him uncomfortable. In my mind, I was like “Ewo tu leleyi bayii” (which one is this one again) “Olorun Je n so layo” (father Lord, help me get to my destination safely). I hopped in and said, “good morning please I want you to try and drive safely and avoid speeding too much especially when we get to third mainland bridge and most importantly, try not to go more than 100 km/hr on the speedometer”. He smiled and said “no problem”.
Anyway, we embarked on the trip and I started to apply my makeup because I hadn’t had enough time to do that initially. Naturally, I prefer sitting at the passenger’s seat in the front so I can always have an eye on the driver and caution him when needed. I know what you are thinking. Lol, wahala girl yii po (this girl is really troublesome) so I noticed he kept stealing glances at me probably looking at the transformation taking place. Then I asked “are you uncomfortable with me applying makeup in your car? Do you feel like I’m going to stain your car with some of it? Because I’m absolutely not going to do that. He replied “No I’m not. I wasn’t even staring “Now I’m like “hmmm!!! alright o”.
In case I haven’t mentioned, I have a terrible phobia for large bodies of water and as to be expected, as soon as we began approaching 3rd mainland bridge sweat began to break out on my forehead. I could feel my pulse quicken, the blood in my veins flow, my veins standing out of my skin, and every strand of hair on my head. But I was maintaining my composure and controlling my breathing as they have taught us to.
That’s when Oga in dada (dreadlocks) decided to remove his hands from the steering for a few seconds. In my mind, I’m like “Lulu just calm down! Don’t go off on his ass! If you show yourself now and he orders you out of the vehicle in the middle of the ocean, what will you do?”. So, I was quiet. He later decided to use only one arm on the steering as soon as he remembered he had one (at least better than using none at all) and I became somewhat calm. Until about some seconds after again he removed his two hands from the steering. It was at this moment Crazy-Pea decided to join the show. Crazy Pea is one of my alter egos that comes out when I’m going out of my mind with fear and anger. At this moment I’m like “Oga what’s the meaning of this one? you can’t be doing that with me here. I don’t understand the meaning of this style abi you want to be unfortunate this morning nii? Please try and focus and I would advise that it’s only when you are by yourself you try this experiment not with a passenger in the car”. Next thing Oga will say is “are you scared? Me I don’t want to die too”. I replied “if you don’t want to die, please drive well!! I noticed the same thing the other time. For Christ’s sake, we are in the middle lane anyone and any vehicle can approach us from both directions in split seconds.
How do you want to get the composure to put your hands on the wheels not to talk of the ability to swerve when your arms are in the air”. This man started laughing o that’s when I knew that the person I was riding with had problems with his brain and I have “shi oko wo” (entered the wrong vehicle). By now I was already questioning myself on why I didn’t cancel the trip at first when I had a strange feeling “Orimi eledami eshanu mi, I’m sorry if I ever sinned against you oh Lord my God, please forgive me. I won’t sin no more, just get me off this ride safely”. I began to pray.
Finally, we got to my destination and I was so relieved and of course, I saved the driver’s details and couldn’t stop thinking about the speech I was going to make later in the day to the cab company when I eventually get home later that day. Anyway, this was one of my most horrifying experiences using an E-ride hailing service in Lagos. The others vary from being driven by a sleepy driver to having to be with a driver who wouldn’t stop fondling with his man junk and another driver who refused to stop talking to me and another that went ballistic because I wasn’t listening to his gist, this one even screamed at me “listen to me !!! I’m talking to you!. I want to tell you a story !!! I retorted “Ori eleyi ti yii pata pata “(this one has completely lost his senses) and to the one that wouldn’t stop touching my hand while talking (another disadvantage of sitting at the front seat). It goes on and on. The things wey eye done see for this Lagos. If I decide to write about them you all will get burnt-out. Anyways I just decided to let you have a sneak peek into my traumatic experience of that day. I hope you enjoyed reading it.
You can let me know if you have experienced something similar or any odd experience you have also witnessed while using a ride-hailing service in the comment section.!